Definitions and FAQ's

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Bullying, Identity-Based Bullying & Teasing

Prepared by the MetroWest Anti-Bullying Coalition (MW ABC)

1. What is bullying?

Bullying is repeated, intentional behavior that causes physical, social, or emotional harm. It involves a power imbalance—real or perceived—where one person or group exerts control over another. Bullying can be physical, verbal, relational (social exclusion or rumor-spreading), or digital (cyberbullying). 

Examples include:

• Name-calling, teasing, or insults
• Spreading rumors or sharing private information
• Excluding someone from groups or activities
• Physical aggression such as pushing, hitting, or tripping
• Posting or sending hurtful messages or images online

Bullying creates fear, shame, and isolation—and it can have long-lasting effects on self-esteem, mental health, and learning.

2. What is identity-based bullying?

Identity-based bullying happens when someone is targeted because of who they are—or who others believe they are. This includes bullying or harassment related to:

• Race or ethnicity
• Religion or faith
• Gender identity or expression
• Sexual orientation
• Ability or disability
• Body size or appearance
• Language, accent, or national origin
• Socioeconomic status or family background

It attacks a person’s core sense of self, often connecting to larger issues of bias or discrimination in society.

3. What’s the difference between bullying and identity-based bullying?

All bullying is harmful, but identity-based bullying goes deeper, because it targets characteristics tied to a person’s identity.

Bullying

• About someone’s behavior, social status, or differences in power
• May be motivated by anger, control, or social dynamics
• Often ends when behavior changes or intervention occurs
• Addressed through behavior correction and empathy building

Identity Based Bullying

• About someone’s identity—who they are or are perceived to be
• Rooted in prejudice, stereotypes, or systemic bias
• May persist because it’s reinforced by societal messages or discrimination
• Requires cultural awareness, anti-bias education, and systemic change

In short:

Bullying is about behavior. Identity-based bullying is about bias and demands a deeper community response.

4. What’s the difference between teasing and bullying?

Friendly Teasing

• Intent: Playful, not meant to harm.
• Tone: Everyone involved is laughing together, not at someone.
• Power balance: Equal—friends or peers with mutual respect.
• Impact: No one feels threatened or humiliated; both people feel okay afterward.

Example: Two friends joking about who runs faster during practice—both smiling, both comfortable.

When Teasing Crosses the Line

Teasing becomes harmful when it:

• Targets someone’s personal traits or identity.
• Is repeated after being asked to stop.
• Makes someone feel unsafe, excluded, or embarrassed.

When that happens, it shifts from teasing to bullying—because the intent or impact is to hurt.

Bullying

• Intent: To hurt, humiliate, or control.
• Pattern: Repeated and sustained over time.
• Power imbalance: One person or group holds more power (social, physical, emotional).
• Impact: The target feels unsafe, anxious, or isolated.

Example: Repeatedly mocking a student’s accent or clothing, spreading jokes on social media even after being told to stop.

Key Differences at a Glance

Teasing (friendly)

• Meant to be playful
• Everyone is laughing
• Stops when someone says “stop”
• Power is equal
• No long-term harm

Bullying (harmful)

• Meant to harm or control
• Only the aggressor or others are laughing
• Continues or escalates
• Power is unequal
• Causes fear, isolation, or distress

Teasing can be friendly; bullying is never friendly. The difference lies in intent, repetition, and impact.

5. Where and how does bullying happen?

Bullying can occur anywhere people interact. At school, on the bus, during sports, at work, or online.
Cyberbullying extends harm beyond the classroom, allowing hurtful comments, images, or rumors to spread instantly and widely.

6. How can I tell if someone is being bullied?

Warning signs may include:

• Sudden changes in mood, appetite, or sleep
• Avoiding school or social events
• Declining grades or concentration
• Unexplained injuries or lost belongings
• Isolation, sadness, or anxiety
• Talking about feeling unwanted or hopeless

Always approach with empathy: “You seem upset lately. Want to talk about what’s been going on?”

7. What if the bullying is severe?

Even one incident can be serious enough to require immediate intervention if it involves:

• Physical assault or credible threats of harm
• Severe humiliation or social isolation
• Identity-based targeting (race, gender, religion, disability, etc.)
• Online harassment or doxxing
• Sexual content or coercion

Schools and organizations should act immediately when harm is significant—even if it’s the first known occurrence.

8. Does bullying have to happen more than once to take action?

No. While many definitions include “repeated” behavior, a single serious act can qualify as bullying or harassment if it causes substantial fear, humiliation, or risk of harm. 
It’s better to intervene early than to wait for a pattern.

9. What should I do if I suspect bullying or identity-based bullying?

1. Listen without judgment and believe the person’s experience.
2. Document details—who, what, when, and where.
3. Report incidents to the appropriate authority (school, program leader, or community partner).
4. Focus on safety, support, and connection rather than punishment alone.
5. Advocate for follow-up—check that action is taken and that the environment becomes safer for all involved.

10. What should I do if I witness bullying?

Be an upstander, not a bystander:

• Speak up if it’s safe (“That’s not okay.”)
• Offer support to the person targeted
• Report the incident
• Model kindness and inclusion in your own actions

When one person speaks up, it empowers others to do the same.

11. How should schools and organizations respond?

• Implement clear anti-bullying and anti-harassment policies that include identity-based bullying.
• Provide training for staff, volunteers, and students on prevention and response.
• Create safe, accessible reporting systems.
• Use restorative practices when possible to promote accountability and repair harm.

12. How can families and communities take action?

• Talk early and often about kindness, difference, and respect.
• Encourage children and youth to be allies and upstanders.
• Partner with schools, local organizations, and coalitions to host education sessions or kindness campaigns.
• Celebrate diversity through art, storytelling, and shared events.
• Model the values of empathy and belonging at home and in community spaces.

13. Where can I find help or resources?

If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. If bullying involves harassment, threats, or discrimination, contact school leadership or local authorities.

Helpful Resources:

• StopBullying.gov
• PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center
• GLSEN – LGBTQ+ inclusive education resources
• ADL Education & Outreach – Anti-bias training and school support
• Spark Kindness / MW ABC – Local initiatives, events, and ABIDE resources

Together, we can build a culture where no one feels alone, bullied, unsupported, or unconnected.

References

1. StopBullying.gov (U.S. HHS). What Is Bullying? https://www.stopbullying.gov
2. GLSEN. National School Climate Survey (latest edition). https://www.glsen.org/research
3. Learning for Justice. Speak Up at School Toolkit / Anti-Bias Framework. https://www.learningforjustice.org
4. CDC. Whole School, Whole Community, Whole Child (WSCC) Model. https://www.cdc.gov/healthyschools/wscc/
5. Olweus, D. Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do. Blackwell.
6. Espelage, D. L., & Swearer, S. M. (2010). A Social-Ecological Model for Bullying Prevention and Intervention. In Handbook of Bullying in Schools. Routledge.
7. Salmivalli, C. (2010). Bullying and the peer group: A review. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 15(2), 112–120. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2009.08.007
8. Rigby, K. (2012). Bullying Interventions in Schools: Six Basic Approaches. Wiley-Blackwell.
9. Rodkin, P. C., & Berger, C. (2008). Who bullies whom? International Journal of Behavioral Development, 32(6), 473–485.
10. Garandeau, C. F., & Salmivalli, C. (2019). Peer norms, group structure, and the risk of bullying. Child Development Perspectives, 13(1), 41–46.